The Biting Hamster

Nina was not allowed to have pets as a child, according to her parents it was due to severe allergies she and her sister had. On one rare occasion her father caved and purchased hamsters for the two girls. Her parents made it very clear that they would have to take care of the hamsters themselves. If one of the hamsters died or got out they would not be replaced. Nina and her sister diligently took care of their hamsters. Each of them maintaining their own hamsters cage, feeding them and playing with them.

While Nina’s sister was able to handle her hamster and play with him all the time, Nina was afraid of hers, you see her hamster liked to bite. He didn’t bite all the time, but he would bite, suddenly, without warning. Many times Nina would be petting him with a finger and hamster would seem all happy and content then suddenly turn and bite her finger. Other times he’d be happily crawling up her sleeve and bite her on the neck. His bites were small, usually a small amount of blood would be drawn, but it hurt like a bee sting and Nina would cry.

At first Nina would tell her mother, who would clean up the bite wound as she would tell Nina that it was her fault hamster bit her. Nina must have mishandled the hamster, she must have been too rough or harsh with him. So the next time Nina was ever so careful to be even more gentle in handling her hamster, but he would bite Nina again, and again. Each time she would go back and assume she was doing something wrong, it never occurred to her that it was just possibly the nature of this particular hamster. Maybe unlike her sisters hamster, he was just a biter by nature.

After a few more bites Nina stopped telling her parents. She knew that if she complained they would get rid of the hamster and then she wouldn’t have a pet. Nina continued to care for her hamster, handling him less and less each time. Just feeding him and watching him playing contently in his cages with the wheel and toys she provided. Her parents quickly caught on to this and one day when she came home from school her hamster was gone. They said he had escaped, that she must have left the lid to the cage opened or something. Now it was her fault that hamster was lost.

What struck the eight year old really odd was that not only was the hamster was gone, but the cage and all items belonging to it were gone also. Nina was alarmed and asked her parents why they got rid of the cage? What would they do if he turned up suddenly? Her parents assured her that hamster was gone and would probably never turn up again… and he didn’t. Her sisters hamster however lived on for a long, long time and Nina was not allowed to touch him or help care for him. She has been labeled as irresponsible and uncaring. As much as she wanted to pet her sisters hamster, she didn’t dare because she didn’t trust herself and did not want him to disappear also.

Truth is Hamster never left Nina at all… the experience stayed with her for a long time.

I’ve been thinking about this story a lot lately and how this experience actually helped shape the way that eight year old saw relationships and how she saw her own self worth. Many of us are led to believe that when relationships ‘bites’ us, we must be doing something wrong, we must try harder and if the relationship falls apart it’s our failure. When in reality some people, like a hamster, can just be biters by nature… always nipping and biting those that love them.